Philip Van Zandt

Byron Foulger

Keye Luke

Ben Wright

Edgar Barrier

Lyle Talbot

Henry Corden

Larry the Cable Guy

Larry

Michael Ansara

Jack Kruschen

Victor Sen Yung

Phyllis Coates

Tris Coffin

Bill Engvall

Bill

DJ Qualls

Everett

Christina Moore

Karen

Danny Trejo

Carlos Santana

Keith David

Sgt. Kilgore

Jeff Dunham

Amazing Ken

Ed O'Ross

Victor

Michael Papajohn

Bill's Neighbor

Marisol Nichols

Maria

Glenn Morshower

General

Michael Rose

Sgt. Major

Lorna Scott

Woman at Cowboy Frank's

Parker Goris

Bill's Boy

Lisa Lampanelli

Connie

Lance Smith

Sgt. Adams

Bill Doyle

Colonel

McKinley Freeman

Airborne Soldier

Joel McKinnon Miller

Pilot

Chris Spencer

Co-Pilot

Alejandro Patiño

Juan

Luis Chávez

Carlos

David DeSantos

Bandito #3 Ricardo

Nicholas Guilak

Luis

Toby Holguin

Bandito #1

Jimmy Ortega

Bandito #2

Albert P. Santos

Flaco

Emilio Rivera

Jorge

Shelly Desai

Farmer

Tony Perez

Mayor

Danielle Hartnett

Senorita Magdalena

Carlos Moreno Jr.

Jaime

Rolando Molina

Bartender

Joe Nuñez

Ruben

Esteban Cueto

El Javelina

Thomas Rosales Jr.

Bandito Guard

Matt Riedy

Colonel Dalton

Amy Powell

Anchorwoman